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Reading through a January 2006 copy of Saga magazine I found this rewarding article – for once my depression was lifted. HappinessAnd
How to make happiness happen
‘I love you’ or ‘gin and tonic’ ‘Things that in the end increase our sense of dissatisfaction’. What makes one happy? It really does increase with age according to a new Saga research. Fiftysomethings, it would seem, are having the time of their lives. And for sixty somethings too, life just goes on getting better. If that isn't enough to confound the young, even after peaking at 70; life satisfaction never again declines to the depths of the middle years. These are the uplifting results of new research from Saga, conducted by the Future Foundation. By measuring different age groups and their satisfaction with different elements in their lives, it is clear that contentment levels rise most sharply during our fifties and continue to grow throughout our sixties. The Future Foundation has examined the responses of around 9.000 individuals of all ages, collecting data in seven separate areas of life regarded as the most important indicators for happiness: health, household income, spouse or partner, job [for those in employment), social life, amount of leisure time and use of that time. Respondents were also asked to say how satisfied they feel with their lives overall. Adolescents may have more freedom, more money, and more "stuff" - from iPods and Xboxes to mobiles and PCs - than ever before, but they're a miserable lot. Between the ages of 15 and 20, their levels of satisfaction drop dramatically. As other surveys have also shown, adolescent stress and angst are worryingly on the rise. For those in their twenties and thirties, Mick Jagger's refrain, "Can't get no satisfaction", written when he was 22, chimes as true today as it did in the Sixties. And later, when children come along, and parents are faced with juggling work, finances and family, according to the survey's findings things continue to get worse. Between the ages of 35 and 45, life satisfaction scores finally bottom out, and only then do things start looking up again. Our social lives, the amount of leisure time we have and how we take our leisure are not just crucial factors when measuring levels of happiness, they are the strongest influences on overall life satisfaction. For those between the ages of 35 and 45 - in other words, the time when there are most likely to be young children in the household - satisfaction with social life is unsurprisingly low. But from the ages of 45-65, when children become more independent and start to leave the nest, we begin to regain time for selfish pleasures. From holidays to hobbies, we can finally do as we please. We can go out without worrying if the babysitter is comatose after working her way through the drinks cabinet. We can pop along to an exhibition at the weekend without having to have a family debate. We can holiday where they've never even heard of children's clubs. The greatest increase in satisfaction in this area comes about in our fifties, not peaking until we reach our late sixties. Of course, issues of social isolation among older people cannot be ignored, but the picture for the majority of us is remarkably positive. Interestingly, if you look at what older people did in their spare time back in the Seventies and compare it with today, research shows that the average range of leisure activities has almost doubled, and in the case of women, more than doubled. Money matters to all age groups. But whereas the years between 25 and 50 are generally marked by an overall deficit between income and expenditure, after 50 and into retirement is the time when people start to have money to spare. At this point, average satisfaction with income starts to rise. Even taking into account pensioners with income constraints, general satisfaction with household income continues to increase. Thesame is true for those who "trade down" to smaller homes later in life. Between the ages of 50 and 80, people are increasingly satisfied with where they live. Despite Freud's insistence that happiness could only be found in work and love, the Saga survey shows that enjoyment of work is not a very important predictor of overall life satisfaction. In fact when it comes to work, satisfaction is on average lower across all age groups than our satisfaction with every other aspect of life. Although things marginally improve between 20 and 50, the biggest positive change occurs between 50 and 65. From 55, satisfaction rises rapidly, which could be accounted for by the fact that those most happy in employment are more likely to continue working rather man take early retirement. And even unemployment has a more muted effect on people in their fifties than on younger people. For those in long-term relationships the good news is that the longer you stay with your partner, the more satisfied you become with your relationship. It seems that if you stick together past the age of 50, satisfaction continues to rise. Having a partner when you're in your fifties would appear to be more important than for any other age group, with singles in ' their fifties being the least content of all. What stands out here, however, is that although having a partner is important, it's a less important measure of overall life Satisfaction than most other measures. Yes, your partner matters a lot, but a good round of golf? Now we're talking! Only in the area of health does our happiness decline as we age, falling steadily for two decades after 30. But even here there's a surprise in store - overall satisfaction with health actually begins to increase among people in their late fifties and sixties, before falling back again at 70. Perhaps this is a reflection of more realistic expectations about our lives, but also the fact that many of us are prepared to challenge ourselves physically and pay more attention to diet and exercise than we would have in the past, thus staying healthier for longer. Overall, the picture painted for people in their fifties and sixties couldn't be rosier. It perhaps proves that happiness, like youth - as George Bernard Shaw so wisely said - is wasted on the young. Written by Linda Kelsey Written by Liz Hoggard How
to make happiness happen
The word happiness derives from the old Norse, meaning ‘luck’ or ‘good fortune’. Many of us assume that happiness is a lottery, believing that some people are born happy, others aren’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But in fact our capacity for happiness (based on our genetic inheritance and the first five years of our lives) is only up to 50% defined. Having spent the last year researching the new science of happiness (dubbed "positive psychology") to write the book accompanying the recent actuality BBC TV series Making Slough Happy, the scientific evidence is that we can learn how to be happier, despite being predisposed to grumpiness. In the biggest social experiment of its kind, six experts from various disciplines descended on the Berkshire town of Slough with the aim of raising its capacity for joy. In the series, 50 volunteers, aged from 17-78, took part in a programme of experiments and activities -everything from workplace counselling to meditation in a graveyard (the awareness of death makes all of us keen not to waste life) and a smile campaign. They also followed a "happiness manifesto" created by the experts- The most important finding for the volunteers was that, once our basic material needs have been met, additional money and status don't help us. Instead, contentment is to be found in family, community and trust in fellow human beings. And many of us live surprisingly "unintimate" lives. To increase their sense of connectedness, volunteers were asked to make contact with at least one friend or relation whom they had not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet. Research suggests that to develop close friendships it is necessary to engage in a high level of self-disclosure. Talking only about impersonal topics, such as music or sport, does not prevent loneliness. The key is to be more open and trusting. Volunteers were also encouraged to have an hour-long conversation with their partner or closest friend each week. They were given an exercise in which one partner spoke for 15 minutes without interruption, the spouse then reflected on what they had heard and how it made them feel, and then had their own 15 minutes of speaking, without interruption and being listened to uncritically. All the volunteers agreed it gave new life to the relationship. And volunteers were asked to smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day. They found that casual encounters in the street or supermarket brought a new and genuine sense of pleasure. Not only does altruism reduce our sense of alienation in the modern world, but it actually makes us happier. Scientists agree that being kind to others triggers a cascade of positive effects. It makes us feel generous and capable, and anyone witnessing a random act of kindness also feels inspired by human nature. Written
by Katherine Whitehorn
I have never decided whether the
three best words in the English
language are:
‘I
love you’ or ‘gin and tonic’.
To my mind "Full English breakfast" is a hot contender too. Such things certainly make us happy - but love can also make you wretched; gin's delicious for a bit but doesn't exactly last, and the trouble with the breakfast is that it does last-on the hips. Steady contentment can't quite be found in such things. Gardeners are happy, in spite of the weeds; journalists think journalism is the best fun you can have with your clothes on, even when wracked by anger, or anxiety; my novelist husband was always extra cheerful if he'd spent the morning writing a scene in which somebody got shot. Doing what you can do well makes one happy: the most contented retired people I know are those who are absorbedly interested in something, whether it's aircraft or doll's houses or cake decorating or brass rubbings. And. simply, the successful completion of small tasks makes one happy too. Which explains how women, who in most ages have had pretty limited lives, have survived so well. It explains, too, the absurdly therapeutic value of crosswords, of clearing out cupboards, of crossing the last thing off a list that you didn't really have to make in the first place. Having something good to look forward to is a major part of being happy, which is why people are so pleased to book holidays way ahead. And it's hard to overestimate the glorious surge of happiness brought on by sheer relief. Obviously the relief is enormous if you find that it isn't cancer, that you're not being fired after all, or that your son actually missed the train that crashed. But even in minor things there are few feelings of happiness more intense, or short-lived, than relief- even the relief of not, after all, having left your glasses on the bus. Written
by Dr Sue Llewelyn
It may be that we don’t really know what makes us happy, and so,
paradoxically, we may do ‘Things that in the end increase our sense of dissatisfaction’. Things are often promoted in our materialistic society as ways of feeling good, but research shows the contrary - in the long run "instant fixes" can in fact be highly counterproductive. So what really does make someone happy? There are many things we can't control, such as early family life, ill-health or trauma. But there are things we can control. Research has shown that how we respond as adults to life events can influence our levels of happiness. So be optimistic. Given a set of circumstances it is always possible to focus on the positive and this can become a habit. Focus on the glass being half full. If we choose instead to think about problems and difficulties, it not only lowers our mood but means we don't achieve as much. And "counting blessings" -literally - does work. A study reported two years ago at the Positive Psychology Conference showed that people who spent time each evening for one week writing down what went well, and what was good about their day, showed significantly increased wellbeing scores six months later, compared with those involved in other activities during that time. Play to your strengths, too. Unhappiness can stem from our own unhelpful beliefs about ourselves, so go easy on the humility. And be deeply involved with life. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszemminaiyi says that the greatest happiness comes when you are so absorbed in something (a game, a piece of music, a discussion) that you lose yourself, and become focused on the present. You then have a sense of "flow" which arises when your skill and challenges are both high, and in optimal balance. The social psychologist Michael Argyle adds another perspective; after years of research on happiness he concludes that it comes from doing something active, with other people, to music. His answer - country dancing! Why not try it? What
makes one happy?
Well, these make me happy. Giving more than receiving. At 75 I have
enough clutter to furnish a charity shop. Appreciation lights me up but
it’s not essential. God Knows.Written by Lionel Rabbi Blue A shot of diamorphine given after a spot of heart trouble in Accident and Emergency a few years back felt so benign. What a wonderful way to ease pain. No wonder they use it sparingly. I learnt from my mother to rum trouble into treats. So when waiting in hospitals or departure lounges, I try to pack a bag with a flask of Earl Grey, fruit cake, a novel with a happy ending and a pad to write my own novel with an even happier ending. I share my cake. Meditating in a sympathetic, user-friendly priory, which provides me with bread, marge and marmalade. Praying, like love, makes me feel hungry. Saying "Good Morning!" to John, Jim, Sarah, Ed and all you listeners from the Radio 4 Today studio. Their/your approval makes me blossom. Youngsters offering me a seat on a crowded underground train. Crumbling with age has its compensations. Going to bed with a book and a bagel stuffed with smoked salmon. People-watching at big stations. I see the human comedy and human tragedy revealed in their arrivals and departures and they bring me back to religion. I pray to God for them - and for me. If I can't sleep I match old socks and when I've made a pair, reward myself with whole-nut milk chocolate. Shining shoes. Something begins to shine in me too, banishing the blues. Dancing around my bedroom and singing Cabaret under the shower - all voices. "Now that's a daring old cow, isn't it!" But of all these, happiness lies most in giving more than receiving. Don't be imprisoned in your own self. Comfort is in things but happiness is within you. ‘How
to Be Happy: Lessons from
Making Slough Happy’ by Liz Haggard
is published by BBC Books at £14.99. |
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