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(BS) On SuicideToday I felt lousy. I was in great pain and my eyesight had become blurred. I had planned to leave early this morning to meet up with David – en route, I had promised to pick up Dean. Well – I just didn’t have the energy to move so I let them both down. Then my disposition was made worse when I was advised that on account of my diabetes my driving licence was likely to be removed. So I was already feeling very miserable with myself when Mr Bruton, Lord Eassie’s clerk, kindly phoned me to advise me that Lord Eassie’s Opinion in Unity was to be released tomorrow and that I should (I perceived) prepare for bad news – I thanked him for his consideration.
I attempted to keep busy and finished off a half completed essay on my father -- I trust it will please him. He was a very quiet yet immensely strong man – perhaps his strength may be reflected in this piece -- George Arthur Frank Frost (His commando days)
Later this afternoon I was obliged to attend the health clinic again – I wish I hadn’t bothered – blood pressure up; cholesterol up; weight up; pulse up – and did I appreciate I was close to a heart attack.
So I returned to Edenside where I read ‘On taking one’s own life’ in Moral Epistles by Seneca and ‘On suicide’ in Studies in Pessimism by Schopenhauer. Well do you blame me for being a tinge depressed after trawling through those philosophic words of wisdom – so matters were not good with me but then I received the following cartoon – my perverse sense of humour appreciated its merits – so suicide consideration will have to wait till tomorrow.
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